I’m back for daily updates on diet, my workouts and chasing my ballet and body composition goals.

One of my favorite teachers is coming back to Salt Lake next week. If you do ballet you and have done any work with Russian trained dancers or teachers, you know Misha Tchoupakov. I signed up for three days of class and a private lesson.

And I feel like a hippo.

A strong hippo, but no one is going to want to lift me if we get to do any partnering.

I also have an audition for a summer workshop on the 16th, so this post will only take us up to that point plus a follow up.

I’ve been rambling about balancing working out with rest and recovery and this wonderful YouTube video popped up in my feed today, all about working only to 70% so you are not sore the next day, so you can keep training. He articulates it so well.

https://youtu.be/R49_daAOO3g

I feel like it will be very hard to pull back. Even in class, its hard not to strive for every last inch. Especially with my mediocre feet, if I relax even a little they look floppy.

But I’m going to give it a shot. Lots of rest and rolling and naps! I’ve been going over and over my schedule for the next two weeks to see where I can get extra practice time on things I think might show up in the audition, but also where I can squeeze in a nap or an Epsom salt bath.

I’m going to try to do a video of my workout or class everyday. But at the same time, if I need to nap or workout instead of edit and post, I will!March 1st

Today was not a great start. I don’t think I slept well. I went to a ballet class, then slept in my car for two hours. So tired. I’m not sure why.

I taught some lovely little girls and one sweet boy ballet, some tap and some jazz (they were 4 to 8, so my minuscule knowledge of the latter two wasn’t too much of a hindrance) and that seemed to wipe me out again. I took another hour long nap in my car and played piano for an hour class, then came home and crashed. And I ate dinner. I’d wanted to start the weekend with some fasting and I really thought I had a pretty easy day today, but I was so beat, and had an enormous headache.

So today was a successful day for getting into class, and for a nice long intermittent fast, but not for the full day fast I intended. I just feel like I need to do some longer fasts to get some of this pudge off my body.

March 2nd

I slept badly, so I slept in. I did make it to a rehearsal for the one spring show I’ll be doing. Its going to be wonderful. Six ladies dancing to Grieg, and we have a very talented choreographer. And Cheval Dancewear is providing the skirts! I’ll have pictures.

Today wasn’t a fasting day either. Today so far is a sleep in and catch up on little things day. Slowly draining the stress away with eliminating To Do items and sitting on the couch in my jammies with tea and apples.

So many apples.

Ok, only like three, but they were wonderful. I think I need a break. My motivation is low today. Am I still sleep deprived?

I got this great blog post in my email from the Bullet Proof Ballerina. This is just what I needed today. Sometimes pursuing goals is fun and feels easy, or at least the motivation is there. Sometimes its not. And its OK that its not. I’m in an “its not” day today. I’m still going to stretch, do a short workout, and other things that will help me with my goals. I know if I stick to those things the ease and joy will come back. I just don’t want to take steps backwards while I wait.

Read Tonya’s post here:

https://www.antibunheadfitness.com/blog/make-your-move

Joffrey Dnace School campaign 2017 by Rachel Neville

So I’m using today as a gathering day, I’ll made plans and rest more tomorrow, and should be ready to punch hard Monday. But only 70% as Conrad says in his video. Because I want to punch hard on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday too.

March 3rd

I’m editing on my phone and for some reason it is easier to catch typos this way. Lazy Sunday. And a solid fast day! I’m at 23 hours dry fasted right now and I’m headed to bed.

I sometimes take a long walk in Sundays, up to four miles, but I needed to sleep today. I had a nice long nap and it’s looking like we’ll get to bed on time too.

Something my husband and I have been talking g about a lot lately is starting a family. We have been married almost seven years and we are both 32. I have always thought I’d have kids but I’ve kept the idea in my “someday” category. I’ve had a really hard time moving it to the “soon” or “now” category. This is a thing I need to work through. I’m still not sure what our decision for this year will be. You see, I’m still pretty immature and quite selfish. I just want to keep dancing.

March 4th

I am 35 hours dry fasted and I feel great! I am doing an experiment though. Every seasoned faster will tell you that chewing gum on a fast is a bad idea. Its the sugar, artificial or real, and the act of chewing. These stimulate the digestive response, which halts autophagy and can create hunger issues.

I am chewing a gum called Falim, from Turkey. It has no sweetener at all

It’s only flavor is a slight herb taste that I can’t name. Other than that it’s just a piece of rubber basically. I am chewing it both with my tongue and my teeth to help the muscle tone of my cheeks and jaw. Part of my face improvement experiment.

So far I haven’t had hunger issues from it. The worst thing is I do get some air in my tummy, and my jaw is sore, but the later is good, I want to be working those muscles.

Today my feeling with fasting is that I would like to dry fast till this evening, then have salt water, broth and tea till this weekend. I would like a flat tummy when I take my master classes. 

March 5th

Wow, things are not going as planned. I got myself up for class today but maybe should have slept in anyway….I might also REALLY be feeling those late winter blues. It has been so grey here. I was really embracing the cold. I made a snow swimming video, loved commuting to work in the chill air, and I made an entire post on taking icy showers! But the grey is getting to me. I’m sad and tired and hungry.

I’m doing alright with what I eat. But I need to cut simpler carbs out. I tried adding potatoes and some steel cut oats back in, and those just cascaded into wanting all kinds of carbs, good and bad. So I’m going to stick to those apples.

I’m planning a new photo shoot for my business, I want to be confident enough that i can be one of the models. Right now I would be embarrassed to put myself in front of a camera. I’m strong, i can hit poses, but I’m still so puffy!

And I’m still afraid to take a break. I’m afraid to miss class. I’m afraid to back off my workouts. But that in part is what is making me so tired that I can fast decently each day.

Tomorrow I am sleeping in.

March 6

I did it, I made my goal of sleeping in. If only all my other goals were that easily met.

So far today I am dry fasting. It has been about 16 hours. Dry fasting is almost easier than salt water fasting in the first 24 hours. Its that second day, I start to day dream about water.

I ate yesterday, more apples and lots of eggs.

I am definitely feeling less gung ho and in control. I’m very tempted to go for a longer fast again, swinging back down on the yo-yo fasting cycle, but being stuck in this carb cycle is keeping from doing that. Just doing 36 hours at a time seems like a good strategy, I just need to get myself back into ketosis.

I’m collecting video clips for a week sum up, so no daily videos for right now.

March 7th

Today is my birthday. I’m feeling slightly urgent…setting goals helps.

I had a great day. I had a massage, a private lesson from Misha, then later an evening class from Misha. What a wonderful way to spend my birthday!

Here is the Week One update. I talk a lot so I’ll just post the video.

https://youtu.be/_jFCwPi79dw

Day 8

My biggest fear last night after two ballet classes, was over eating before bed. I considered just fasting through the night, but I just couldn’t do it. I’m not close enough to ketosis. I was so, so tired.

My body had worked really hard, and yet I know both that I have body fat to burn and that it is so easy to out eat pretty much any activity level. Even two ballet classes from a master Russian teacher.

So I first made a huge amount of tea. I used large glass jar that originally help Adam’s Peanut Butter. I made mint tea, which helps suppress appetite. Then I had a low carb snack, no apples!

I fell asleep easily, but I woke up hard at 4:00. In the morning. Yuck.

I kind of think my body was working so hard at repairs that it needed a break from sleeping…it was weird. So I woke up and write some emails, then crashed again till just before I needed to go to work….

I want to fast all today, but I don’t know if I can. But I’ll make sure I have that huge jar of tea again if I do.

March 9th through 11th

Saturday was wonderful and crazy! I skipped morning class and went to a rehearsal for an adult ballet class piece with a local ballet school. The choreographer and I have been friends for a while and I’m excited to work with her. She did a lot of choreography in college and is very good at it.

After a nap and a snack at home, I went back to that studio and danced a video audition for US International Ballet. I’d like to join them for the summer if possible. It is one of many options that seem to be coming up, if I can scrape the money together ( hey, you should go buy a skirt it tank top from my when you finish reading).

With only an hour’s rest, I jumped into the last class in this series from Mr. Tchoupakov. It has been AMAZING to learn from him this week. I used to take his class twice a week before he left Utah, and I miss the Stark clarity of every combination. Every head, hand, and foot is always clearly placed on a count. This incredible standard of coordination at the barre always shows in nearly effortless center work. I can’t wait till he comes back.

Sunday we had a combined birthday party for a few family members. I ate before hand to make sure I was full on protein and vegetables, but I still indulged in a few treats.

I had considered fasting through the party. I’ve done it before and my family doesn’t complain any more.

But I was still feeling tired from the long week and ready to relax with them and enjoy food alongside everyone else.

So this morning, Monday,March 11th, was a sort of clean up time.

I’ve read that the purge part of a binge and purge cycle can manifest in extended intense exercise, not just self induced vomiting. I may have fallen into that trap today. Not that I truly binged last night, but I’ve been feeling out of control with food for a while now.

So I slept late, till almost ten, trying to banish any feeling of sleepiness.

Then I did a series of workouts, a short run, and a long walk. All that moving has made me feel much better than I usually do the day after I eat more carbs than normal.

I probably need a nap after all that though. I’ll try to squeeze one in during my break at work.

 

https://youtu.be/_jFCwPi79dw

 

 

March 12th through 16th

This week did not go as planned really. I think I’m still stuck in the food/energy/crash cycle. Like a caffeine addict, I’ve been running on food, storing fat, and  crashing hard instead of resting and recovering and fasting.

I still fast every day. In fact most days me eating window is under an hour. I even fasted 47.5 hours dry at the beginning of this week, then ate for half an hour and went to bed. So its the same old problem with Sarah, fasting is easy, working out is easy, eating right and really resting is hard. 

So I’ll skip right to the audition. First, I want to share that the pressure I felt was extremely lessened by my finding out that I won’t actually be able to dance the gala usually associated with this workshop. My family and I planned our annual reunion months before this workshop’s dates were announced and I can’t ask 24 people to shift thier plans. Also, I auditioned for another summer program last week and I may end up in North Carolina all summer!

But the audition was still a god experience. I felt over weight and tired, but also strong, fit, and comfortable with the Vaganova style class. The plie was SOOO SLOW! Which I resented at first, but when we moved on to tendu I was so warm that I appreciated the slowness. 

My pointe shoes were not perfect, and my brain sort of shut down for that portion of the audition, but I still feel like I did alright. I’m pretty sure I’ll be placed for this audition, and, as I said, I won’t be fighting to have a spot in the program on the gala. 

Over all this was something of a failure as far as my wanting to be thinner for this audition. We can call it a learning experience, I have found even more places where I am weak, but I have am working on strategies to overcome or bypass my weak moments. especially Tuesday evenings! I go full on lizard brain by 9:30 after almost 5 hours of teaching with no break. I love my kids, but I can’t hold back when I teach. They get every thing. All my energy, physically and mentally and even emotionally. 

I asked my sister in law to call or text me at 9:30 this coming Tuesday to wake up the non lizard brain so I keep going.

Here is an experience I had that I want to recreate:

Two years ago I woke up early on a Sunday morning after fasting for 8 days. I walked about two miles to downtown Salt Lake to meet with fellow members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints for a service in a lovely old building on historic temple Square. The beautiful early spring weather and my fasting high, calm low energy, and my destination of social and spiritual fulfilment, made that one of the most beautiful days I have experienced in my life.

I would like to fast for the next seven days, when this meeting again takes place, to try to find that calm and beauty again. Let’s make the latter half of March less maddening.