My post for this January Full Pointes was getting long! And I need to do some reassessing with my out line. I originally wanted to only eat Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays. My activity level is WAY up this month, which means lots of ballet class which is awesome. But I am having a hard time doing 48 and even 24/36 hour fasts.

On the other hand, my body seems stuck at about 138 or 140. I know I can get lighter than that without losing muscle. So I want to fast more.

I’m also still learning how to eat. Today was a successful Carnivore eating day, but I haven’t been able to do that consistently. I also love how I feel the days after a full day of fasting. Light and focused and energized. I felt fatigued some this morning, but still focused. Then after I ate my brain seemed to turn off. I’m attributing the fatigue to my early wake up time. I’m still not physically used to 7:00. And don’t roll your eyes you 5:00 AM people. I teach dance till 9 pm some days and that’s hard work.

Here is the video from day 17:

January 18th day Eighteen

Weight: 141.0

Waist: 26.5 ( for those who think I don’t have any more fat to lose, this number obviously means I do. Especially since I’m 5’6″

Ketones: Moderate

Eating Day or Fast Day: Planned fast, made it a Carnivore eating day.

I started the day with my normal morning routine, meditation, some piano practice, language and scripture study, playing with my cats, and a five minute cold shower.  The Snake Diet guy challenged his followers to do five minutes in a cold shower every morning. I’m done cold exposure off and on for about a year. I’m adding to this Carnivore Challenge the Cold Shower Challenge.

I want improved mental toughness. I get weak around food. I get weak when I’m tired, stressed, or just feeling down. If I can do this one REALLY hard thing every day, I can do anything, including stick to this diet and stick to my fasting outline.

I’m also adding dairy back into this Carnivore thing, because I have access now to raw milk. I over ate dairy today, I have missed it so much. But my rules for adding back in are that I can ONLY consume the milk and cream I am getting raw. I’m excited to try making simple cheeses and I already have some yogurt going. can’t wait to see how it turns out tomorrow!

Here is a picture of my keto chart:

The options are Negative, Small, Moderate and Large. I’ll report here every day where they are in the morning.

Here is my scale with this mornings weight. I ate last night, and close to the end of a menstrual cycle, AND and been messing up my fasting and over eating, so this is higher than I want. But what gets measured gets managed:

Well, there it is Internet land, my weight in public. Not the biggest I’ve been, nor the smallest, but what the number doesn’t show is I am currently at my healthiest and strongest. All I really want to do is get stronger and cut fat. I have wonderful muscles, I build them easily, but they have this pudgy layer hiding them. As I say in one of my rants from my December Fast, I am not interested in “health at any size.” I do not want to “love my body no matter what.” I want to shape and create the best body I can, and repair any damage or signs of use with fasting and diet. I want to live for a long time in a strong healthy body.

I’m really quite lucky right now. I have no major health issues, no illnesses, and right now, time and energy to work on this (read: no kids). So while I can I’m going to give myself a strong foundation and work on aesthetics.

Here is my video for Day 18:

January 19th Day 19

Weight: 141.5

Waist: 26.5

Ketones: None. Too much dairy yesterday. If I’m going to add it back in, I’m going to need to figure out how much I can have. I’ll start with a small amount, maybe 2 ounces, and check out the effects by adding a little through the week.

I had a good workout yesterday and today. This is really motivating, I missed having great workouts and lots of energy while I was doing longer fasts. I still want to fast, up to 60 hours some times, but I have to figure out how much activity I’m going to be doing too.

January 20th Day Twenty

Since I was traveling and stayed up late talking with my parents, I don’t have numbers for you today. Didn’t even think to take my Ketosticks!

It was lovely to be home. Of the 50 or so hours I was there I fasted for 49.5 of them. I took a nap today before making the long drive back, but I was still feeling tired. Both eating and napping wake me up if the nap is the right length, so I had some dinner left overs…probably a dumb justification, looking back now from my home environment where food is not always center stage, I probably would have been just fine not putting anything in my mouth. But I did much better fasting and eating smarter than I have in the past. Slow progress.

I am eventually going to make a whole post on my Cold Shower experience. But I did have a cold shower this morning and it was wonderful. For the next several hours I felt very warm, despite the winter weather, and awake. I’m really excited about jumping into a cold shower everyday. I have even started to feel that the five minutes isn’t so interminable. Yesterday I turned on some music on my phone and that helped the time go by, but this morning wasn’t bad at all!

January 21st Day 21

Today is Martin Luther King Jr Day. I’ll admit this is a holiday that sneaks up on me. So I didn’t realize I had the day off from work.

So I made it wonderful.

Ballet class with a nice long workout and practice alone afterwards. Then I enjoyed a snow bath and a hot Epsom Salt bath….I alternated a few times. It felt incredible. Then I took a short heavy nap. I feel amazing.

Today is a dry fast day. As I write this I feel sticky in my mouth, but other than that I feel fine. I’d like to dry fast as long as I can into tomorrow.

I have struggled all this month eating the right amount of carnivore foods. It seems like it takes me longer to feel full, so I keep eating. By the time I “feel” full, I’ve over eaten. I obviously need to slow down…thoughtful and slower eating is something that is on the edge of my vision, something I hope to dig into in the future. I have the ability to eat fast and big. Big is OK if is balanced with fasting, but eating fast makes having a small eating time window essential, and I’m still learning that discipline.

So the big change I am making is this: I have mixed up the raw eggs with which I want to break this current fast with some of my raw milk. I’m going to drink my snake juice and this “egg juice” to get the calories I need to continue to have AMAZING WORKOUTS ( because I have really been on a roll with those) but keep myself consuming liquids and keep my mind in “fasting mode”. I realize there are other liquids I could consume, but eggs for now seem to be the best thing. And I can have them raw!

Here is today’s video; the drawing is one I did in high school:

January 22nd Day 22

Today was a smart day for eating, I mean, I stuck to my Carnivore list. I was also out of the house all day, so that was a big help. but I’m TIRED. Not sure if it is messed up sleep, too late bedtime (probably) or just not getting anough rest between my classes and workouts.

I was able to control my eating this evening. I had a wonderful definite moment where I said to myself, “I am feeling full.” I have a hard time acknowledging that feeling until I’m past it and have eaten too much. But tonight I was able to feel it and finish eating. So I should sleep much better than when I over do it.

I did get a little dizzy while I was teaching. I really think it is just my being behind on sleep/recovery time. I am NOT behind on food, unless the problem is that I’m not producing many ketones so my body is having a hard time accessing fat for fuel and is craving food, including dietary fat.

I really need to figure this out.

Video:

I talk in the video about gaining strength in my hips. This is great, but I’m also running into the dancer’s dilemma of losing flexibility as strength is gained. I’ll share my over-splits routine some time to show how I’m trying to get past that.

Also, MY DANCEWEAR BUSINESS! I need to do more research. And get more funding. My business exists so I can eventually fund my own dance addiction and give financial support to young dancers in my area. You can help me out by buying a shirt or tank top!

January 23rd Day 23

Failure day. I have to be honest. No numbers or ketone reports today, because nothing has changed. Lizard brain is currently in charge and craving food food food.

You’ll hear in my video, I just rant at myself for ten minutes. Skip ahead or listen on double speed. But I jsut have to share what is going on.

my period is more than a week late. I’m on the 32nd day of my cycle. It is usually between 24 and 26 days long. I am not pregnant. I don’t know what’s going on.

I have a new plan. I’m going to prepare my food, all weighed out, and pack it with me to eat while I’m out of the house. That way I can’t reach for more food, and home will become a No Eating Zone, other than water and maybe some broth.

Also, I’m again out of the house all day tomorrow. I’ll take a short nap on the couch in the lobby after my dance class, and I don’t need to come home before I go to work. Today in part was hard because some of my work hours were cancelled, so I was just home, tired and obsessed with food. I’ll prepare the food I need to eat according to my calorie plan for the week. Not much because I’ve eaten too much today and hardly fasted at all.

I always feel better having a plan.

January 24th, Day 24

My plan didn’t quite work out, but the fasting part is going well for now. I woke up super sore and tired. And sweaty and groggy from NOT fasting enough yesterday.

But I’ve had a nice slow morning, took my cold shower and a hot Epsom Salt Bath. I’m headed into work soon and once I’m out of the house, fasting is easy.

I’d like to fast at least 36 hours. Right now my fasting app says I’m at 15 hours. I haven’t been able to fast overnight for some time and I really need to.

In fact, if you know me personally and you are reading this, send me a text at about 9:45 tonight, just about when I’ll get home, telling me to KEEP FASTING!.

I think I can do it, I just know lizard brain turns on at about 8:30 and all I want is food.

My “goal clothing” a pair of pants and a couple of small shirts, are defiantly tighter this week. I really wish my menstrual cycle would restart. I’m confused by my body in so many ways right now.

But today is half over and its been great so far.

January 25th Day 25

So…this whole carnivore thing has been a BIG.FAT.

FAIL

I haven’t been able to fast long enough to truly clear my body of glycogen, and I haven’t been able to stick to the meat only for more than a few days to really give my body a chance. I’ve done everything from “sneak’ (from whom for heaven’s sake?) an apple at the end of a feeding window to going full on carb addicted lizard brain and eating fricka OATMEAL.

I feel good, eating lots of protein and fat has given me energy. I certainly won’t blame any of the Carnivore foods, raw or cooked/canned for feeling sluggish or tired in the mornings. I’ll blame that on my carb slip ups and not getting enough rest.

I talked to a good friend of mine who is also a dancer. I told her I was working hard, finally able to get class every day AND do my personal ballet workout and practice daily. She was so sweet and said my work was showing, but that I probably need more recovery time. She said sleeping till 2:00 pm some days can definitely be part of intense training.

So today I got up at 7, did my morning routine (I’d like to share that with you guys some time) and instead of leaving for 9:00 class at 8:40, I went back to bed till noon. Felt amazing.

I have six more days, the 26th through the 31st. I’m going to give pure carnivore, eggs, animal meat and a LIMITED amount of dairy, one more shot, realizing that my success will depend heavily on getting to bed on time and getting several long naps, especially on the days I have two classes in one day, lots of teaching, or just a lot going on. Mental work too can still be physically taxing.

Video:

January 26th Day 26

I went to ballet class this morning, and it was wonderful! It is a class at a dance school, so everyone was in black. It is great to be treated like a student’s sometimes, not just like an adult who is free to modify anything that doesn’t feel good.

I was able to hide my ankle weights under some leg warmers, so I wore those for bar, and I wore pointe shoes for the whole class. I am finally starting to feel comfortable in them again.

There are a few steps I feel closer to being able to do in pointe shoes that I found impossible as recently as January 1st.

After that class, I came home and slept for four and a half hours. It was amazing! I am surprised at how much I needed all that sleep. this very clearly explains why I put on so much weight in the last two weeks, I was way more tired than I thought I was and boosting my energy with too much food, instead of rest, sleep, and recovery time.

I really want to keep this level of activity up. I love my muscles what they can do, but I have to be honest, I haven’t dared way myself. I am guessing I am close to 145 pounds again. If not more.

Today was a successful carnivore day, mostly fasting and drinking broth. I will do my best till the end of January, for the remaining five days, to stick to it. I will take a short break at the beginning of February, then see about doing maybe 90% carnivore?

I like the obvious energy that having an apple or two gave me on the days that I ate them. I did not like the days where I messed up, like the one where I had oatmeal. That did not help my energy levels.

January 27th Day 27

Had a nice “feast” with my sister and her husband over. Ate carnivore stuff plus an apple. I think I’m just going to include an apple or cucumber every day. It seems to make a big difference in how I feel after closing my eating window. I’m hoping that one apple per day will help me avoid another oatmeal or trash carb incident in the future.

I am ready to fast tomorrow.

The workout that I outlined for myself during Christmas break has served me really well and I’m excited to amp it up. Here is the picture of my old chart:

and here is the fresh new chart, ready for the next month!

And it is almost time for bed, so here is the video of me doing the last round of this workout. I’m going to FAST and EAT MEAT (and apples) and REST, SLEEP and RECOVER this week.

January 28th Day 28

It’s a new week! I’m excited to try again with my fasting and eating schedule. Today is a fast day, tomorrow is a Carnivore day.

I’d actually like to fast the whole week. I put a lot of weight on, about 6 pounds, in the last two weeks because I was trying to eat through my tiredness.

This week I need to SLEEP, which means a good bedtime and NAPS.

I have a two hour nap planned for today. It will be in my car near a park, but I have a pillow and a blanket ready to go. I want to see if I can maintain this awesome workout and class schedule while losing weight, both with fasting long and only fasting daily and eating.

So today is a new Day 1. But so far attempting and failing at this challenge has been very eye opening.

January 29th Day 29

I am still so tired! And I was stupid again today and broke my fast instead of taking a nap. I was careful about what I ate, lots of broth, and tea, but we had leftover pulled pork from Sunday, and I just broke down, instead of going to bed for an hour or so.

I have made this mistake many times, and I really need to get over it. Part of it is the self control, and part of it is getting my energy organized so that I don’t get so tired that my brain turns off.

Today was however, a successful carnivore day. I did eat one apple, but I think I’m just going to have to work with that for now. I just seem to do so much better when I allow that.

Going into February, I have a couple of family parties. I will stick to keto for those, meat and plants, and some dairy. Then for the rest of February see about eating meat, dairy, and limiting my plants to either a cucumber or an apple per day. We will see how I feel with that.

January 30th Day 30

I skipped class again this morning, but I feel better than I did yesterday. Fasting in fact has been very easy. I wish I didn’t have to choose between dancing and sleeping, I would like to be able to do both fully each day.

The winter blues are starting to creep up. it has been a little bit sunny but I need to make an effort to get out in the sun while it’s here, because we still have several days in a week where it is cloudy. Would anyone like to carpool to Arizona for the weekend with me?

January 31st Day 31

Well it is here, the last day of the month. I have definitely taken steps backwards as far as fat loss and weight loss overall, but good things have happened to. I am definitely much stronger than I was before Christmas.

I should have called this another ballet workout challenge month, I would have one! I have done my work out most days, and for any day that I missed, I would do doubles the next day. That means going through the routine a second time either right away or a little bit later in the day.

I have had access to de lis glass and I have only missed I think three or four days so I could sleep in and repair my body.

This has definitely been a learning month. I am so much more aware of my energy levels and output. When I was in college, I wish I had had this amount of awareness. I think I was just always tired. My freshman 15 turned into the senior 40 at least! Now I know that I was eating instead of dealing with my emotions and taking care of my body. I wish I had known what I did today 10 years ago. But don’t we all?

So now I just have this very interesting equation. What equals fat loss? Fasting, daily workouts, recovery, and intelligent refeeds AR the factors. What amount of fasting and working out – eating will still equal a drop in fat percentage?

Today so far I have had class and a double workout session. Then I came home for a solid nap and an Epsom salt bath. I am heading off to work soon so the video will be another short vertical selfie. Tomorrow or later around the weekend I will do a longer carnivore follow-up video.

so despite this whole experiment being misnamed, I really didn’t do well with just eating meat, it was definitely an exploration for me. I have acquired some new information and new tools to go forward.

February 6th: Follow Up

Skip to the last ten minutes of the video for the update.

Carnivore failed. Workouts and ballet class attendance: WIN!! I am so much stronger and more flexible. I have been so lucky to have class and the time to do my own conditioning nearly every day.

I think my failure with the diet comes from my trouble with recovery. I have been so tired but not always able to stop my life for a nap, so instead, I just ate. And ate and ate. I have gained about 8 pounds this month.

That was not the goal.

I’m going to leave you all alone for the month of February, but this month I need to figure out 1. What to eat and 2. How to get enough rest to keep up this wonderful workout schedule.

I might still need to adjust, this is new for my body, but it needs to happen soon, and I still think recovery is going to be a big help.

So I’ll be revamping my schedule, seeing where I can fit in rest and recovery, including naps. I’ll also be revamping my food types. Going to add back in low, low calorie items, like kimchi, sauerkraut, cucumbers, and lean meats. Then I’ll figure out when to have carbs and when to have fat. Carbs to fuel workouts (within reason, I still have FAT on my body to burn) and fat to help me be satiated and make fasting easier.

I’ll check in for March with the out comes.

I have an audition in March and an audition video I’d like to get made soon too. I’d like to take you along with me as I prepare.